Relationship Coach

The Dark Night of The Soul

The Dark Night of the Soul is a poem written by the 16th-century Spanish poet St. John of the Cross, in which he describes the journey of the soul to a mysterious union with God. The path and destination are unknown. 


In an obscure night
Fevered with love’s anxiety
(O hapless, happy plight!)
I went, none seeing me
Forth from my house, where all things quiet be

 

St. John writes at the beginning of the Dark Night (the Declaración): “In this first verse, the soul tells the mode and manner in which it departs, as to its affection, from itself and from all things, dying through a true mortification to all of them and to itself, to arrive at a sweet and delicious life with God.”

Although the term, the “dark night of the soul” can be referred to the difficulties of life in general, in the poem, the author conveys that the nights which the soul experiences refer to two necessary purgations toward the union with God. The first purgation relates to the sensory or sensitive part of the soul, and the second one is of the spiritual part (Ascent of Mount Carmel, Ch. 1,2).


St. John of the Cross. Credit: Wikipedia


Such purgation includes the first of the three stages of the mystical journey, which lead to the stages of illumination and then union (Underhill, 1964). During this dark night, the only light is that which emanates within the soul. And that is a guide more certain than the mid-day sun: Aquésta me guiaba, más cierto que la luz del mediodía. This light guides the soul on a mystical journey toward Divine union.


According to Spitzer, as St. John of the Cross indicates “the dark night” is yet another form of suffering which is experienced by only a few truly holy and loving people. This final stage is assigned by God as a stage of final purgation to help purify Level 4 love of any remaining imperfections – residual attachments, aberrant affections, and spiritual pride (2017). It certainly may be challenging to understand why God would want his loving children to experience such dark times of loneliness. Spitzer asserts, that God does not do this with the vast majority of people, but for chosen ones who can endure it and complete purification in love. 


In my opinion, during life time, just about everyone will experience the time of their own dark night of the soul. It can be through illness, loss of a loved one, childhood trauma, conflict, struggle with addiction or depression, major economic loss, or other grievance. These times bring overwhelmed feelings of confusion, despair, loneliness, anger, powerlessness, or hopelessness. The darkness inside and unknown is outside. It is during this dark time the real transformation happens through the collapse of an old paradigm of consciousness. Shedding off old beliefs, dissolving ego, and awakening to a new reality of life occurs through the stages of dying of old self and recreating the new one. The powerful myth about the phoenix bird represents this idea that the end is only the beginning. 


Therapist Notes

      • Connect to your emotions.

      • Have compassion and empathy.

      • Seek answers from within.