Majority of people want to be happy. Whatever we do, we hope to feel good about it. What does happiness actually mean? For someone it can be a purchase of a new car, or obtaining a dream job, creating a family, winning a lottery, climbing a career ladder, becoming rich, and a list goes on. Does it have to be a pursuit of happiness while aiming to find something outside of self? The concept of happiness is definitely not a simple one.
According to Aristotle, “happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence […] Happiness depends upon ourselves.”
He describes four levels of happiness, which are:
Happiness Level 1: Laetus. Pleasure and minimize pain. Happiness obtained from material objects.
This type of happiness relates to immediate gratification, in which obligation is to self alone. This type of happiness is normally short-lived. And since ego is the seat of compulsive behavior to pursue immediate gratification, “the high”of obtaining new things will sooner or later lead to a withdrawal. So, it is in a sense of chasing something, of what you will never have enough of. Ironically, the term “pursuit of happiness” clearly defines this level. Of course there is nothing wrong with obtaining material things, earning money, getting expensive vacations, however if this is only the source of happiness, then one must have a codependent relationship with happiness and a lack of meaning in life.
Happiness Level 2: Felix. Comparative. Personal Achievement. Ego Gratification and Centeredness.
The main objectives of this level are Ego based, including need for comparison: More or Less, Better or Worse, Superior or Inferior, admiration, entitlement, and gaining advantage. This type of happiness also manifests through promoting self competition, for example being the best in sports, at a job, in a school, etc. This happiness through competition and comparison is a chase to be validated by others, titles, medals, grades, status, money. The means are to achieve something outside of self to feel good enough inside. If someone is better, it is usually at the cost of someone to be worse. Win-Lose dynamics. No one likes to feel inferior. This type of happiness on the other hand, contributes to frustrations, isolation, loneliness, disappointments and a sense of failure. No one can be the best at all levels and all the time. This type of pursuit of happiness can promote jealousy, cynism, critique, not-enoughness.
Happiness: Level 3: Beatitudo. Contributive. Doing good for others and making the world a better place.
At the core of this level, is a human desire for connections, compassion, contribution, friendship, unity, giving to others. This level of happiness focuses on the well-being of others, while individual happiness coincides in the context of happiness of others. This happiness can be called – altruistic happiness. This type of happiness offers a deeper meaning of life compared to level 1 and level 2.
Happiness Level 4: Sublime Beautitudo. Ultimate Good. Ultimate Happiness
This level involved personal transformation and finding the balance between all levels. For some people, religion or spirituality can offer the answers, and for others it can be theological, metaphysical, scientific or existential endeavors of human existence. Perhaps, we all in this life are on a journey of discovery of life’s meaning and when we expand our consciousness beyond personal means and needs, we receive deeper answers from the Universe. The principles include Love, Justice, Truth and Beauty. At this level gratification is eternal and enduring.
Whichever level of happiness is dominant in an individual’s life, it will determine the depth and endurance of their happiness.
Another classification of levels of happiness described in Daniel Nettle’s book, “Happiness: The Science Behind Your Smile.”
Notes from the therapist:
Have Self-Compassion Time:
• Reflect on something causing you stress
• Identify perceived problem or flaw
• Write down a letter to yourself from the perspective of self-compassion and self-love
• Practice 3-5 kind acts on a single day
• Repeat it for 4 weeks
• Write in your journal about your impressions and experience.
Benefits of Self-Compassion:
• Lower level of depression & anxiety
• Recovery from PTSD
• Greater compassion and empathy towards others
• Alleviated chronic pain
• Improved relationship and altruism.
Critical questions:
- What does happiness mean to you?
- Does happiness have to do with genetics?
- What were your happiest moments in life?
The quotes to contemplate on:
• “ The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers
• “If you want to be happy, practice compassion,” – The Dalai Lama
• “When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon.
• “Be like children.” – Bible
Celebrate your day and yourself with compassion! The journey of how to be happy is what your heart reveals to you at this given moment.